a mother and daughter’s trust

girlie-ayen-collageThe other day, i was talking to a mother about trusting her daughter’s decisions. Ayen overheard me and gave her advice.”she knows what to do, Nanay,” referring to the daughter.” then Ed got involved and asked Ayen ” What will you do if you were in that situation when your mother gets worried?” “I am not stupid and when I do things, I take care of myself.” Ayen replied.

so i asked “Ayen, what shall we do ?” ‘Just tell my friend to see the doctor and get the vaccine.” Ayen advised which i did and now the situation got better.  Trusting Ayen ‘s good sense  leads to a strong sense .

as a mother, we think we know more and we try to do more for our children. but we forget that as our child grows, they learn. as they enter puberty, they learn from many sources, not just within our care. as they discover other portals, the learning expands and they do well.

ayen is 18 years old now. she has grown into a beautiful and intelligent woman. whenever she tells me how i should respond to issues with her, i listen but not always with ease. i err in thinking i know more and when i realize i make a mistake, it takes an effort to admit i am wrong. inability to communicate well between mothers and daughters is a problem especially with mothers who are much older. i am forty years older than Ayen. forty years is a big number.bridging the gap in four generations is like leaping over a wide ocean. ayen’s generation has a lot of challenges that my generation struggled to tackle and overcome. knowing there are more to come, the most i can do with Ayen is learn with her, sometimes teach her and encourage her to discover sound ways of knowing. the best teacher is life. showing our daughter how to develop patience and compassion is our contribution. my experiences of this life will be invaluable to her but the lessons she will get is the sum of all the lessons she herself will get from us, from other people and especially from her own experiences. i trust Ayen will grow and have a good mind and heart. that trust is palpable and when Ayen feels that, she will face her own life with love and hope.

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3 Comments on “a mother and daughter’s trust”

  1. Rene "RC" Catacutan Says:

    Hi Girlie,

    18 na pala si Ayen – ang bilis ng panahon. Parang kailan lang tayo naghapunan sa Timog kasama si Ayen na tila 12 pa lang yata noon, at ngayon nga ay 18 na at maganda at matalino pa raw sabi ng nanay. Ibig sabihin pala tumanda na ako noon ng 6 na taon? Wow, time really flies.

    Excellent piece on mother-daughter relationship, generational dialogue and parenting.

    Best regards to Ed and Ayendiwata.

  2. Rene "RC" Catacutan Says:

    Hi Girlie,

    18 na pala si Ayen – ang bilis ng panahon. Parang kailan lang tayo naghapunan sa Timog kasama si Ayen na tila 12 pa lang noon, at ngayon nga ay 18 na at maganda na matalino pa raw sabi ng nanay. Ibig sabihin pala noon ay tumanda na ako ng 6 na taon? Wow, time really flies.

    Excellent piece on mother-daugther relationship, generational dialogue and parenting.

    Best regards to Ed and Ayendiwata.

  3. mvillariba Says:

    salamat RC, ed posted our photos on March 8 for all to see how we were and who we are now


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