not running for lucena mayor

last week my friends marita, baby and vhangie wrote to me to entertain the idea of running for lucena city mayor. they enumerated the reasons why and i thanked them for thinking highly of me. i laughed at the picture of myself campaigning and i wrote them back why i will think about it and why i will not run for mayor. i even told them i will blog about it – what it takes to run and win, then run around as city mayor. this week my classmates started replying to this blog and some thought i want to run. am editing it for those who think am serious. this exercise is about not running. but what is the fun if we dont deconstruct and decompose the game?

this year of two elections, national and local, made me think seriously of how violent and costly our elections have become. the senatorial and congressional race have run to billions, each senatorial candidate spending at least two billion pesos while the congressional candidate at least 200 million. for someone who has no dynasty or taipan to bankroll the election bid, one will have to take a suicidal attitude or a never been defeated lens when entering elections. even the local barangay bid is expensive because you need to get patrons who will support you but who will want payment in many forms. now if you run for city mayor, the minimum cost is 20 million ( quezon city mayors spent around 100 million). but the election budget is only part of the funds you need to raise. you have to plan a 3 terms (9 year run) campaign and you can be recalled even after winning so you need to plan a whole decade. the budget will be split in two : one half for the actual campaign and the other half for outsmarting the garci-bedol operations. take note that even the comelec lawyer got assassinated for serving an arrest warrant to bedol.

now for the sheer fun of it, suppose we find a woman like me run for lucena city mayor? she will be female, married with one daughter, already 57 years old, doing pro bono work as educator ( but no regular income) and have been out of lucena city for 40 years. what should she do first ? let’s call her goddess. she will make the rounds of all the dynasties, business and political, who have stakes in southern tagalog. she will use the lucena map along the coconut commercial and transportation systems, landbased and seaports.

she will look at lucena as a critical hub and plan the campaign within four interconnecting webs ( formal, informal, criminal and war, thanks to bong mendoza’s think piece). there are so many economic activities in these fourwebs and i already have some ideas how she can get sponsored by the key leaders of these fourwebs. to get access to the formal and informal leaders will cost her two year of daily rounds of going to as many birthdays, graduation events, beauty contests, fiestas, funerals and being guest in academic and business celebrations . she must allocate a PR budget for these public events and families will invite her if she is on television and print media. as more families see her in their events which get into newspapers and television shows, she will have to train as a celebrity, and sing and dance.

i remember my friend len magayanes who run and won in daraga as a councilor and then as vice mayor. she told me she always sang in all the events. she had a hit song – i have two hands – and she would sing it ala elizabeth ramsey and the audience loved her. goddess must have a regine velasquez voice or a pilita corrales body. she will have to learn i will survive and sing it hip hop .if she can imitate michael v., francis magalona and even the sex bombs, so much the better. her family will have to bankroll an entertainment program and get all her siblings to learn circus acts, and the latest entertainment lucena is accustomed to. she will put on contract the first philippine idol, mau marcelo and the international hollywood singer winner, raymundo sajor as mainstays in her entourage plus all the local theatre directors and fashion artists because the elite and masa will want fashion shows .

as for the more serious agenda, she will have to manage appointments with church leaders, from the Catholic church to INK and all the laity associations to lead soliciting donations for various church projects . her parents will take care of priests, bishops and cardinals while her sisters will go to all the church events. her brothers and in laws will take care of meeting with rotary branches, jaycees , knights of columbus and civic associations. her daughter and her cousins will go to all the beauty contests during fiestas and be queens and princesses. she can ask my classmates marita, vhangie, baby, joann, chit, enjing, evelyn, annabel, patricia,jayjay,dennis, manny (all the maryhill batch 56 to 69) and friends in Enverga plus in Quezon High school to provide yearly scholarships to at least a hundred households in every barangay . then get the founding lucena clans’ membership of around 10,000 as parade managers and barangay pollsters. lucena has 33 barangays and a hundred thousand voters ( high voting tide) so mapping our entry will be geographical, demographical, and politico-economical. she can request help from ofel garcia and juliet villanueva on how to package devt plans that they worked on and must be sustained,having been in the lucena administration and planning offices for a long time. they can be her source of doables when she wins ( she cannnot afford to lose because she has sponsors to please).

as for the criminal web,she has to work with the PNP and AFP, plus all the intelligence agents operating in the region. her security detail will be organized along the current data base of five agencies ( DND, DILG, DTI, DOTC, BIR) . if you ask why, it will be in another blog. my estimate budget for her security will be 12 million annually and she can court support from a grand benefactor in Laguna whose daily business in Lucena has to be sustained.

the last but critical web is the warweb. she must be prepared for the permit to campaign (PTC) and take the fees all the way to the shadow BIR ( who want advance payment). but this will also be in negotiation with the secretariat based in utrecht, netherlands. she will have to enlist the peace panel in norway to get the agreements sealed.

what else dose she need to take care of? to get dr. manny calayan who is from lucena to give her a total makeover, become a fashionista , flawless and forever sexy. her husband can fly to the moon to escape this crazy world she is entertaining.

any diehard ideas for goddess for mayor?

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3 Comments on “not running for lucena mayor”

  1. Mila Maramot Says:

    This is hilarious only if it were not so sad. You have accurately described the way some of our country’s candidates worm their way into the people’s hearts. Sing silly songs, show up at every birthday, graduation, beauty contest, fiesta and funeral, be a fashionista, flawless, and forever sexy and you’ve won over the majority of the voting public.

  2. mvillariba Says:

    its hilarious indeed because my classmates decided to post their comments in our egroup and some thought i was entertaining the idea. i had to write another message that i will live and be a citizen as long as politicians make electoral contests the most expensive and unfair duel in town. am not a gladiator and never will spill my guts.


  3. dear girlie,

    i know you know me, or at least my brothers nebu and charlie, in your khi rho days. was the classmate of joji in high school, and suitor he he he. i cacme to know your husband when i was with the isafp. i took care of them, together with boy morales at bago bantay when they were ‘vacationing’ there.

    i became the barangay captain of our barangay gulang-gulang. been twice a city councilor of lucena. ran first as a councilor and lost. then as board member and lost. twice as vice-mayor, and miserably lost. until i dreamed of becoming the mayor. how? i know now how when i read your blog. but the people of lucena won’t settle for a competent and true leader! what they want is a drunkard, a singer, a dancer, a corrupt one, and just doing lip service to them. ask your father and your mother. surely they know the answer.

    obie, your lawyer brother had been invited many times to run either as board member or councilor but he continually refused the invitation. good for him.

    but shall we allow lucena to be swallowed by dumacaa and iyam rivers without us doing anything?

    boyet


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