How to become perfect parents /lovers

today ayen was ecstatic because she passed the UPCAT and told us “i am not a bum anymore”. we all hugged and said thanks to God. of course, passing the UPCAT is an achievement for our clan since i, sonny, melo and ceres didnt have to take it to get into UP (in the 60’s all you need is proof that you are in the top ten of your high school grad class and that your IQ tests from the NCEE was good enough for the state university). the rest of our siblings and their children took it in the 80’s, 90’s & 2000’s but didnt get to the privileged percentile. so ayen is our first clan UPCAT diliman passer. we told ayen to aim for a scholarship so she can make her time in school shine. she replied “that’s tough”.

i have been thinking of parenting as a science. charles handy wrote that parenting is something you do without the formal education. i agree but i also think we can prepare people to become good parents. ed bought a book recently and it’s a good book with insights on the perfect parent – FREAKomonics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner, penguin books, 2006. there is a chapter on the study of children and the things that make a child do better in school. the interesting thing is that there are many things we do as parent for our children do do good in school, like having many books at home, bringing our children to museums, etc. in the late 1990s, the US department of education did a longitudinal study called Early Childhood Longitudinal Study or ECLS to measure the academic progress of 20,000 children from kindergarten to 5th grade and the subjects were from a cross section of American school children. they found 8 factors that are strongly correlated with text scores: 1) the child has educated parents; 2)the child parents have high socioeconomic status;3) the child’s mother was 30 or older at the time of her first child’s birth; 4) the child has low birthweight ;5) the child’s parents speak English in the home ;6) the child is adopted ;7) the child’s parents are involved in the PTA;8 ) the child has many books in his home. then there are 8 factors that are not correlated ( but i wont write about them here, will do that in another blog sometime). i wonder if these 8 factors also have a bearing on raising teenagers to become good parents and better lovers. is there a longitudinal study of teenagers (16 to 25 years) and what factors have a bearing in their formation as future parents and lovers? those who blog and scan, please inform us.

there is another chapter on parenting and it’s the legalization of abortion and its correlation with crime reduction in the US. steven levitt studied the number of abortions and crimes that followed roe versus wade (when abortion became legal) and led him to conclude that ” when the government gives a woman the opportunity to make her own decision about abortion, she generally does a good job of figuring out if she is in a position to raise the baby well and if she decides she cant, then she chooses the abortion.” when levitt examined the US annual number of abortions and computed a value for the aborted fetuses, he came up with a figure of 15,000 lives which is equivalent to the annual homicide data. ergo, he says there is a link between abortion and crime. many responded/reacted to this conclusion and levitt is still under siege from the conservative right. but the feminists and reproductive rights groups will benefit from examining his propositions and how he looks at the hidden side of everything.

there other studies that levitt and dubner discussed in the book which parents should read like why parents should think before naming their children ” winner” and ‘loser”.

as i was reading Freakonomics in bed with ed (who was reading Electric Universe) , i told ed that our long conversations have long quiet time also for reading. we both love books and we share the insights that flow from perusing a wide variety of topics. ed is a quintessential book reader. he can read volumes and discover ideas with new eyes.

same bed, different books make for a satisfying time in bed. some lovers call it pillow talk. we call it bed talk. .that’s part of being perfect lovers, among other things that couples do.

Explore posts in the same categories: Lifelong learning, Love and marriage, Psychology


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