marriage is a long conversation

today i miss long conversations with ed. ed has been in cebu since tuesday . i was in lucena sunday to wednesday. our marriage has spanned twenty seven years. conversations make our marriage sustainable. when i look back in 1980 at the start of our marriage, i smile at how we worked on a love code. living overseas in rome, amsterdam, utrecht and london led us to having a lot of good conversations, from pillow talks to morning chats. we were surrounded by people who talk a lot. traveling all over the continents meant multiple interactions so we decided that our intimacy would take several forms.

morning hugs and coffee conversations during train rides became a habit. reading books and exchanging reviews until we reach our destinations was another. ayen wasnt born yet so it was easy to carry books and get ed to shop for books. ed is an excellent book shopper – all his trips would reward us with books and magazines. we consumed them with passion. when ayen came into our life, she wondered why ed’s bags were always full of books and documents,”ayan na naman ang mga libro, mas marami pang libro kaysa laruan” (here is father whose bags have more books than toys) she would complain. as she grew up, ayen began to appreciate why Ed was lugging up on books.

pillow talks are our favorite. after a long workday , we would snuggle up and chat about everything, from the people to places that excite us.we would wind up with ideas, projects, people to support and events to organize .

we also arrived at the rule that we would not allow our quarrels ( yes we have our struggles as normal couples) to stay unresolved so we could sleep soundly. if the issue was serious, ed would allow me to get the emotional energies blowing while he listens. i would also follow the same rule – allow him to be angry until he is ready to talk. i usually chatter when upset while ed is ice cold when angry. ed does not explode, but intimidating, like an iceberg about to move out from its moorings.

we have funny and affectionate conversations (of course) . since i became menopausal, my brain would leap into ideas that jumble up my words, like a lateral thinking version. ed would gently unravel them until the insights are coherent. ayen told me that i mix match my words and i wonder why. this is the reason why i blog daily , i told her, to make my hand follow my brain since my tongue is a bit lose. i took to blogging two years ago, earlier than ed who blogged only this year. now we have our virtual conversations, sms, email all rolled into blogging. anais nin said that” we write to taste life twice”. ed and i blog to taste love twice.

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One Comment on “marriage is a long conversation”

  1. ezzy2plzzz Says:

    i write elsa almost everyday. txt, e mail and the old fashioned notes i insert inside her bag.serious issues are on yellow pads.
    in return, she talks a lot. i listen.
    last oct 25, we celebrated our 31st anniversary.
    we are both 53.
    henry ni elsa


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